Mosquito Coast

by Curtain Rod Character

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released December 29, 2015


all rights reserved


Track Name: Sample Conversation Itinerary
These curtain rod characters embark on a trip
Let's give 'em some topics to talk about
Hey, what's your take on guided navigation?
Is it ruining our ability to read maps?
How do you feel about velcro versus laces?
I don't have a strong stance on that
But it could be talked about

Mosquito Coast (4x)

Hey, what's your take on guided meditation
We could talk about stem cells and slot machines
Is groundwater potable?
Seventeen-nineteenths into the trip
Is flyswatting ethical?
Nineteen-nineteenths into the trip
I just have so many questions
Track Name: An Actress' Actress
A puddle jumper's puddle jumper
A nutritionist's nutritionist

An antebellum's antebellum
A crane operator’s crane operator

A bible thumper's bible thumper
A bible thumper's bible thumper
An Actress' Actress

In this segment I will pay homage to
One thing or another
Track Name: List Of Weeping Trees
I want to be buried 'neath a weeping elm
After there's no one at the helm

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping conifer
Until I get a better offer

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping fig
Unless there's a better place to dig

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping birch
After I offload all my merch

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping willow
Let the branchlets serve as my pillow

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping beech
And I want that Beech to weep

I want to be buried 'neath the weeping conifer
Until I get a better offer
Track Name: For Emahoy Tsegué-Maryam Guèbrou
I don't want to mispronounce her name
Emahoy Guebrou is an Ethiopian composer
She plays the piano in a monastery in Jerusalem now
The way she plays the piano
Affects me in a way
It affects me in such a way that
I wish I'd gone to DC to see her back in '08
But I didn't know of her then
And I listen so often
Track Name: For Shavarsh Karapetyan
I don't want to mispronounce his name
He's earned a modest fame
He's an Armenian finswimmer
Ten world records and a bevy of medals
One day after training
He saw a trolleybus crash into the lake
92 people were trapped 33 feet underwater
He saved 20 lives in 30 dives
He saved 20 lives and finally collapsed on the shore
Frigid polluted water and cuts from the glass shards
Put him in a coma for 45 days
He recovered but not to compete again

A badge of honor was issued and the fan mail came in
And UNESCO took notice
Nine years later he noticed a fire
At the Soviet Armenian sports hall
He ran inside the burning building and pulled people out
Ended up in the hospital, a hero again
Why do we have Columbus day
And not a Shavarsh day instead?
Track Name: The One About New Deal Projects
Hey what's the deal with this new deal?
Here are a few to get started with

Hot Dam
The Hoover Dam had an average temperature
Of about 120 degrees
That's in Fahrenheit
In the summer of '31

A Shining exterior
The Timberline Lodge in Oregon
Served as the Overlook Hotel
For the establishing shot in the famous film
6,000 feet above sea level
Go south about 800 miles and you can also observe
The Griffith Observatory

Tunnels of Love
The Blue Ridge Parkway has 26 tunnels in hundreds of miles
Through Virginia and North Carolina
The Lincoln Tunnel between New York and New Jersey
Is decidedly not a tunnel of love

This bridge gets me to and fro each day
The twenty-ninth street bridge in Baltimore crosses the Jones Falls valley. Granted, it's made out of granite; we also have some great Post Office murals nearby too

La Guardia Airport was built on the site of the Gala Amusement Park
Don't forget about all those ski jumps and culverts and sewage treatment plants too
Track Name: Songbird's Choice
I’ll keep the songs brief they’re best in small doses
Omit the chorus it’s better implied
It's better for the verses

Gently remind the album cover art that it's in my employ now

I'll keep the shredfest to a minimum at best
But don't be afraid to try to make a pretty coda

I promised to keep the songs short
To enunciate the words
So that they may act on my behalf as docents
Track Name: The One About Rip Van Winkle
If I
A heady heavy welcome
A heady heavy welcome back
Welcome back

Harkens back to a time
When Rip Van Winkle
When Rip Van Winkle was my idol
He was my idol

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